Insight of the Fortnight: Overcoming Life’s Helplessness
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Helplessness is an expression of lack of confidence. Normally in this world people feel confident because of resources. Resources include finances, team, infrastructure, visionary plan and so on. At times a person has no worldly resources but is very clear about visionary plan and still is confident and thus successful also. At times one has every required worldly resource but is not getting the desired success. If failure happens once, one does not mind but if failure happens in the series then one starts feeling helpless. Failure simply conveys one message that there was something missing in the preparation. At times even 1% less preparation is enough to invite failure. So instead of feeling helpless one must do self introspection and find the missing links. Once the missing links are identified the helplessness immediately disappears while the fact is success has not even happened as yet.


Learning through Humor
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A young woman was worried about her stress-related habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick, so her friend advised her to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.

Her friend asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness. “No ,”she replied, “but now I can reach my toenails so I bite them instead.”

Learning
It is real funny that people will not leave their habits but change their style to suit their well wishers. Like many people promise never to smoke cigarettes but instead start smoking bidis (small, thin hand-rolled cigarettes imported to the United States primarily from India). So the focus must be made clear before starting the process so that the real benefit goes to the person.

Your Questions of the Fortnight
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 Joey H., Alaska
Winning Question: At times parents sound too old-fashioned in their mannerisms and ways of thinking that you feel you were better-off being away from them. How to tackle this situation?
Answer: Interesting question indeed. Feeling that you were better-off being away from them is the path of escapism. Need for you is to develop the skill so that you can take your parents along with you, towards the success you want. Work on the relevant logic and prepare self for success. Success attracts every body including parents.

Sonia S., India
Question: I recently found self in an embarrassing situation. At my son’s close friends’ wedding, by mistake, the shagun* envelope (*money as a token of blessings) got handed over empty. I realized it when we got home. Now how best I could have managed this situation considering how insulted I was already feeling within my mind? Knowing in addition that other members of the family also got blamed for not being careful in checking before passing on the envelope to the other.
Answer: There is a very old saying, “Honesty is the best policy.” so it is wisdom to inform and concerned person about what happened and a fresh shagun envelope must be send.

Okahito N., Japan
Question: I read somewhere that 6 people you spend your most time with, irrespective of your relation with them define your future. And that it tells about your goals and where you are going rather than about those people. That means I need to be very careful about who I am being with, keeping in mind, my life goals and what I want to achieve in the next 1-3 years and life. How closely do you also agree with it?
Answer: I am not aware of the concept of six persons. The fact is that if you are not clear about your goals then one person is enough to influence your future. And if you are clear then six or even more persons will start following your path.

Jonny B., New Jersey
Question: Please share with me in points the parameters, which tell you that establishing your own authority in this world is important? I know the foremost being gaining respect of others.
Answer: Role of others come later. Most important is, if you have authority then your own life will be comfortable. Focus on what comforts you want to have in life and then see which career can give you those comforts. Developing self in 100% for that career is in a way developing your authority. And once you are successful then of course every body will respect you.

Lena W., Westminster
Question: At times, decisions of the head of the family spoil the entire health of a family. And when it happens again and again in different situations, the lady of the family suffers the most and feels all sorts of negativity towards her husband. The worst hit are the children who as a result become quiet and start to remain aloof. The tragedy is they cannot leave their parents behind. What do you suggest for those children who see their parents not getting along well and always be-littling the other and talking of breaking up, instead of being ready to learn the ways of the other?
Answer: First part: Lady of the family - means wife of the family head must be soft and logical to the family head so that irrelevant decisions never happen. At times if she starts challenging him then only the negativity in the family is initiated. Second: Children when they grow up must act as a buffer. Their role is like a diplomat who is representing his country in some other country having a totally different culture and different ideology. His role is to match the feelings and needs of both the countries in such a way so that there is peace and harmony between two countries. Thus both the countries grow together as a team - like the family here.

Rachael M., California
Question: Is crying a sign of weakness? If yes, how? In most cases, it seems to eases totally unexpected emotional setbacks.
Answer: Crying in front of the person who does not accept and understand you is surely a grave sign of weakness. This gives the opportunity to the other person to exploit you for his/her benefits. It is sure that by crying one feels light - but only for the time being - but later on you feel trapped in the policies of the other person who is mis-using you for the fulfilment of his/her personal goals.